Feedback without a License.
Wow, what a way to start the year.
I didn’t take my own advice.
Mid way through a recent assignment (an event featuring 5 different talks from the same company), I was told that I offended an executive by what I thought was a simple suggestion.
The suggestion was, “Have you ever recorded yourself?”
I love the recording devices on our phones. I’ve blogged about it here what a powerful Gestalt-like tool they can be for identifying your own problems in your speech, story or talk. You are more likely to correct the mistakes you identify versus those anyone tells you about.
And they are also great timing tools.
Sure you can use a clock, but that doesn’t help you identify where you may have gone long (or short) since you can’t hear yourself back.
His response to me was “I’ve done this a thousand times. I don’t need to record myself.” I just said, “I don’t need to hear it, but you can use it just to make sure your own timing is good.” After all, there were 5 speakers – if each of them went over 5 minutes, that’s nearly a half hour over their intended timeline. That kind of schedule oversight makes people like me batty, let alone the hundreds of folks in the audience.
So. In looking back, I ask myself: What went wrong? Was it really my suggestion? Was it the fact that he’s new to the job and doesn’t want to be questioned or appear vulnerable? Was it that I didn’t appreciate the fact he’d done it “thousands of times?” Was it that he doesn’t like feedback.
Maybe all or some of those applied, but a higher problem emerged.
He really didn’t know who I was. He didn’t know my story. He didn’t trust my advice or know that I have license to deliver it.
When we first met a few weeks earlier, I was limited to an introduction of this length:
“Hi, I’m Ruth Milligan, and I’m an executive speech coach.”
Anything more would have been frowned upon by the other 15 people in the room who had a big agenda to follow. And it was clear, at this moment of ‘said offense,’ that no one had ever shared with him what my true passion is, how I do it all day every day, how I lead with love and want everyone to reach their potential.
When we were in that script review meeting, it was to review a script (that is a story for another post). So to him, I was a writer. Or at least, if knew I was a coach, he had no ounce of willingness to be coached by me. I could have been introduced more thoroughly, surely, but the ultimate responsibility is mine.
As I have told my clients and classes for years, if people don’t know who you are, how can they trust you? And if you don’t tell them your story, how will they know the real you?
I was really looking forward to giving this executive some further feedback when the time was right. Sometimes, that time is just not meant to be. I wish him well. And thank him for this reminder that at the heart of my work, my clients have to want the feedback first, no matter how I am introduced.
How Kit Kat led to TED, told ala Pecha Kucha.
So a few years ago I wrote this blog post on how I thought the Pecha Kucha (Japanese for Chit-Chat) was a fun format for an audience but a really tough one for a speaker. It dictates you deliver a talk with 20 slides on a timer for 20 seconds a slide.
So last summer when I was invited to give a PK talk, I told them I’d do it without slides. They said no : I had to use slides.
So I sent a black slide and asked them to play it 20 times. They said no : I had to show slide progression.
The dot that moved 20 times.
So I sent a slide that looked like this and had the dot rotate around the circle — one dot movement per each of the 20 slides. And they said yes: finally.
My motivation was that I wanted to tell a very personal story as the guidelines are pretty loose on what content you can bring forward as long as it shows your passion. I didn’t feel that slides would augment my story, in fact, I thought they would distract. And I didn’t ever want to turn my back to the audience to check if I was on the right slide (Rule #1 of public speaking) which is what happens when the slides are on a timer.
So now that I’m watching the video (posted below, don’t judge the quality!), I see that they may have had a confidence monitor (at my feet). A confidence monitor is what we call the screen facing a speaker to demonstrate the slides playing to the audience. True fact: I never saw the monitor as I am apt to look at the audience, not the floor. And it didn’t matter, since I timed my talk to be 6:40 (the time of 20 slides x 20 seconds) and just let it rip. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes in that I even remembered I had slides because I never practiced with them or needed them to prompt my story.
A good friend wrote on my Facebook page that he thought my slides were on the fritz…until the end. So watch for yourself and see how I gave a Pecha Kucha talk “without” slides. Which allowed me to focus on the thing that did matter: my passion and my story.
How I found my Kit Kat. from Articulation on Vimeo.
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Think you can
When I asked a client recently why she was nervous heading into a big talk, one of her first replies was “I beat myself up for the last bad talk I gave.”
The Keynote: One Pathway
While we have been involved in hundreds of keynote addresses over the years, I thought it was time to document the pathway of one from start to finish. Each is different of course based on the speaker, event and audience. We adapt for each and in this case, we’re working with the founder of a company who has been invited to give the keynote at an annual Chamber of Commerce Meeting.
We started planning yesterday by a reviewing previous talks she’d given to some smaller groups to build upon content with which she was comfortable. It was primarily a listening exercise to understand ‘her story’ and elements we can pull, twist and bend as we fashion a talk specifically for this event.
Then came the question that usually gets a pregnant pause response: “What question are you answering that’s on the audience’s mind?” ( I don’t insist on answering the question, I just want to define what it is.)
For an event like an annual meeting, that’s difficult. Very difficult. People come to hear updates on the state of the chamber (obligatory), to see and be seen (everyone’s a player), to generally support the chamber and the community (be a good servants). Do they come to hear the keynote? Well, they may not come if there wasn’t a keynote — but the million dollar question for a speaker preparing a talk: will the audience really listen? Do we really care?
For this event, it will be a morning breakfast. There will be combative fights for coffee, the eggs will be augmented by something sugary, and everyone will begin checking their blackberries about 20 minutes after they’ve taken a seat. Yep, we’ve all been there.
Motivations of attendees will range from networking to gossiping to gripping and grinning. Some will be interested in who is sitting across from them at that imposing white-linen tableclothed round table but….shoot, no time to scream across the bacon and OJ, the program is starting. Time to be quiet. At least with our mouths and ringers (never said anything about shutting down our brains).
So as a speaker, while it seems like a sedate, boring, professional crowd, in fact, there’s a melee going on. It will be her job to break through the clutter and tell a few stories that will wrap up a high-value idea with a take-away that will taste better than the week-old Chinese in my fridge.
We began by building with a hierarchy of messages that we spent 2 hours brainstorming. We asked “so what” about a dozen times and struggled, unexpectedly, to dig for the most resonating truth (’cause of course we don’t lie!). Next, I’ll help her to organize the ideas and then build an outline (but don’t mess those steps with each other).
We will proceed on the following assumption that the questions the audience wants answered are
A) Who are you and why are you worthy to be talking to me this early morning.
B) What will you tell me that makes me want to like and believe you?
C) What can you tell me that I can take away and apply, repeat or learn from?
D) When can I leave and get back to the mess happening at work?
Now, mind you, these are different questions than what’s on the organizer’s mind- which are :
A) How can you make sure our members feel they got value for buying a table today?
B) How can you tie your message with our latest campaign message for economic development? and
C) Can you make sure you don’t run long, we have a lot of other speakers and we have to clear this room by 9am!
After we establish the content structure and outline, we’re going to experiment with a different preparation pathway: no writing it out. She’ll take the outline and talk it out into her “voice memos” app and then transcribe, re-outline and take another stab at giving the talk. That’s right. Not write the talk but give the talk.
Why not initially write it out?
After working with several keynote events last year, I realized that many folks should not write out their talks – ever. That doesn’t mean you can’t transcribe the talk you’ve practiced and see how it’s flowing and use it as a guide. But the reality is, the process of writing words on a computer and thinking through words you are going to speak are very different. If you have a speechwriter working with you, that’s obviously a relationship you’ve built over the years of someone who knows your style and preference. But if you are starting this on your own, know that there are different pathways you can take. The point is that for someone who struggles to write, why bother? I like to walk around (the brain is more active when your body is moving) and talk through it. Sitting at a glowing screen being distracted by email, facebook posts, phone calls and text messages doesn’t cut it for me.
(Flashback: We helped one speaker last year who showed up to rehearsal seemingly prepared to give her 15 minute talk the next day. She got up on stage for the big event but was a mess. Her story line was confused, she had way to many ‘ums’ and the audience got lost. When I asked her later what happened since she said she was recording and listening back to her talk, she admitted, “I never put down the paper.” Meaning, she kept reading her talk into her recordings. But the event itself (in a TED style) didn’t allow for notes or a script. Bottom line: She never got the talk off the paper and into her head.)
The keynote we are building will max out at 15 minutes. We may plan for it to end at 12 minutes and give people more time to chug coffee before they head into work (and be grateful it didn’t run long). Regardless, the process begins now, a month in advance. That’s a blessing that we aren’t starting a week out. The curse? Cracking the code of what will answer their questions, keep them awake and also cheering, long after the linens have been washed.
Check back to see how it goes.
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Tools of the trade
Rose Smith, during her highly provocative poetry performance at TEDxColumbus, challenged us all to betools. You know, as in a conduit for helping others, making change or doing good.
While my tip this month isn’t as deep, her challenge made me think about the tools that the speakers used during TEDxColumbus in their variety of preparation pathways (and let me tell you, there was some variety!). So, if you are making your list for Santa, here’s a few things to consider:
– A whiteboard. Map out your talk to see the main buckets of information or how it will flow. When you get away from your computer, the logic of your talk can have more meaning. Claudia Kirsch and I spent an afternoon shaping her sequence on a whiteboard which became a major point of clarity in refining her key messages.
– Your own personal clicker (yes, you can own one too). So that when your slides are done, you can practice working on transitions so that your verbal – vocal and visual messages align. We lent ours to Maryanna Klatt to practice with her slides, she said it made the world of difference. (Here are a few options of where to get one.)
– A recording device. The analog version would be a tape recorder, the digital might be voicememos on your iPhone or iPad. Theresa Flores used this extensively in her practice, whereby keeping the story in her head (and off of a script, the computer or notes) and making immediate improvements to her pace, sequence and influctions.
– Time. Give yourself the gift of some more days or hours to prepare. Bart Overly said he spent 100 hours preparing this talk (take a look at his slides and you’ll know why), Alex Bandar spent between 30-40, a more typical expenditure. Either one of them will tell you the time helped them be as prepared for their talks as any they’ve given.
While you may not be giving a TED/TEDx talk anytime soon, chances are one of these tools might come in handy for your next talk wherever it may be.
No CommentsThree times makes it a trend
They say once is an event, twice is a coincidence and three times is a trend.
As we organize the third TEDxColumbus event, we’re definitely feeling the trend. Consider our first year when no one knew what TED or TEDx was. I had to explain, clarify, demonstrate and explain some more. Last year, we had some awareness but still needed to prove we could do it again. And this year, we’re now managing people’s interest, excitement, investments and involvement.
But more importantly, we’re helping with three other events that are by-products of this trend.
Next week, a statewide STEM conference will take place where their three “keynote” speakers will deliver 18- minute TED-like talks.
The following week, I’m giving a talk at CityWorksXpo, a national conference on small cities. The organizers wanted to share the essence of TEDx with the cities that had not yet embraced one. While TED doesn’t like to promote TEDx in the traditional way, I’m happy to provide some front-row insight and outcomes to what a TEDx might inspire within a city.
The next week, a major company in town is having a day-long marketing summit with their 200 internal marketing professionals and 12 ad agencies. Instead of having the agencies present creative work, they turned to me to curate (that means concept, recruit, select and coach) a morning slate of TED-like speakers centered around a compelling, futuristic idea that will ‘wake up’ their brains to where their industry is headed.
And then lastly, our main event on 11.11. We announced the speakers this week and are humbled and honored to be working with such a dedicated, passionate group. We’re expecting 500-600 to attend a full day “Moment in Time” featuring 18 speakers. That’s definitely a few steps away from our 5-hour, 8-speaker evening event the first year with just 300 in attendance.
No CommentsOne Client’s Pathway to Resonance
Everyone has their own preparation path toward great speaking, we’re thrilled to see what changes our clients have made in theirs.
One of our clients shared with me in an email that her speaking style had improved so much after her sessions with us. I asked her for what strategies were helping HER the most. Her response:
“In the past sometimes I would just wing it. I would know the topic and would just go for it. This new way I am ready to speak on every slide, I know it cold. They could do the slides backward and I could do it. I can also tell you exactly how long my program will be.
The other thing is the stories. I told stories in the past but did not place them in certain places on purpose – for example the story at the start to get their attention and why this program is something “they” need to hear…
I have also changed how I am introduced. I never liked for people to hear all that info about me. So I am much more comfortable with a short intro that tells them why they should listent to me.
The other thing I am doing different is I used to be a walker and now I stay behind the stand and it keeps me focused and helps me to look around the room in a more controlled uniform matter.”
No CommentsSeek the question
A friend told me recently he was invited to speak to the Board of Trustees at his institution. We discussed that while he knew the topic well, he didn’t know the exact question he was answering.
“Does there need to be a question,” he asked?
So — You decide which pathway would bring him to a more resonating presentation:
#1 : Address the topic: The college’s role in commercialization. His likely talk: Broad, linear, maybe rambling, definitely programmatic.
#2 : Question focus (hypothetically): Why is our college’s commercialization role slipping against other universities and what can we do to regain our leading role, and furthermore, more revenue for the institution? His likely talk: audience attentive, result oriented, anecdote rich, recommendation specific, highly resonating.
So this month’s tip: seek the question, even if your audience hasn’t expressly stated it. You must reveal the primal issue tugging at their minds to assure they will listen. And not to mention, it helps to achieve some critical presentation goals:
– it forces you to be relevant today. (i.e. can’t use the old talk from last month)
– it assures your talk isn’t a conversation with yourself
– it gives your story (i.e. the answer) hope of being syndicated (i.e. repeated)
And if you don’t know the question, don’t give the talk! Your audience will thank you for it.
No CommentsLive from the Desert.
Palm Springs, the TED staff held a special workshop day for TEDx organizers. I gave a brief presentation on speaker preparation to my peers andFail Better, for sure!
This group of junior and high school students took over a big, open, colorful studio space filled with German-designed, state-of-the-art, learning-inspired furniture created within the confines of the convention hall / trade show, and were broken down into six teams and given a challenge: design a solution to any problem you want to solve. You’ll see the mantra that hovered over them daily: Fail, Fail Again. Fail Better!
Over the course of the three days, they are lightly guided by outstanding designers and educators organized from Be Playful, an collaborative consultancy working on re-designing learning environments to be more innovative and creative. It should be noted that this “Prototype” was a sample of more sustainable endeavor Be Playful is testing.The e-tech Ohio conference where they were being hosted was a great partner in helping them incubate it – and gave otherwise sullen attendees a live, interactive glimpse of how learning can be dynamic and well, playful.
Their assignment was to come up with a 15 minute presentation to unveil both their perceived problem (half the battle, right?) and recommended solution to a sophisticated jury of professionals from the design, arts, information technology, retail planning, media and more. My role was to address the 30+ students to prepare them for their juried presentation.
At the end of my short overview of a compelling pitch, which included using the five key questions on how to build a story (any story) from Save the Cat , I was then peppered with questions. Many questions. I found them to have a beautiful naiveté that we take for granted when we’re older, more sullen and feeling like giving a presentation is more a chore than an exploration and learning.
I thought I’d share a sampling of those queries, with a summary of my answer beneath each.
Q: We have 5 great ideas, how do you expect us to come up with one?
A: Then you aren’t ready to present. The jury wants to hear one great idea with some strong proof points. If you give them five, you haven’t found the right theme or connection between the ideas — OR you haven’t killed enough of your little darlings.
Q: What happens if you have a really good idea but not a great presentation? What if is is all over the map and sloppy? Do you think we’ll still have a chance of winning?
A: You may come in second, but rarely will you win. Because someone else will likely nail both the idea and the presentation and outshine you.
Q: Why shouldn’t we introduce ourselves at the beginning of our presentation? How will the jury know who we are?
A: Earlier I advocated for a strong opening hook, one that grabbed the jury from the first minute and made them want to follow the story. If you want your opening hook to be “My name is Kate, his name is Bill and that over there is Susan” feel free. But wouldn’t it be better for them to hear your great idea and why it matters at the top — since you should always give them the most important information first? There will always be time later in the presentation to explain who you are since that matters less than the idea you are presenting – at least for the first few minutes.
Q: How do you know who should be your team spokesperson?
A: As you look around at your team I can see the anxiety of group dynamics trying to decide, who should talk? This is a part of the leadership process you should embrace in this workshop! Here’s a few non-negotiables that I’d look for in choosing your spokesperson:
– Someone that can speak with limited notes (to assure to stay on message) but not someone who has to read.
– Someone who is not nervous and speaks too fast or with too many gesticulations (a clear sign of nervousness)
– Someone who is not afraid to engage with the jurors in a conversation – ie look them in the eye, talk to them one-on-one
Q: Then what should the rest of the team do if we aren’t speaking?
A: Have you ever seen a spouse on stage next to their politician wife or husband? They are supportive. They look engaged. They try to connect with the audience as well. The completeness of your team relies on your being present, too. Even if you aren’t uttering a word. Conversely, you can be the Q & A team – providing subject matter expertise or supporting your spokesperson to give him/her a break.
Q: What is better, a presentation with or without visuals?
A; If you can’t tell the story of your idea without visuals, then you don’t need any — yet. Visuals are used to SUPPORT your story / pitch – not to make it for you. The more compelling the story, the less visuals you need. I challenge the efficacy of slides in the Pecha Kucha model but know it’s helpful when a specially designed visual of a complex idea can be real aid in the oral delivery.
Q: How do we interact with the judges? They want us to “get to know them” but I’m not sure what to do with information we find out.
A: Wouldn’t it be helpful to know if all of your judges had PhDs in electrical engineering when your idea you are presenting has to do with dance therapy? Perhaps you’ll need to explain some more baseline information than if they were all advanced degree holders in dance therapy. It’s the first place you start in preparing your presentation: know they audience. And during the presentation, if you can call out someone that may have a relevance to your topic, which is one of the five rules of a good story: it’s relevant to me. That leaves only 4 more to go!
Q: How much time should we take for the presentation vs. allow for judges questions?
A: Since you were given 15 minutes total, factor in that you want them to be engaged — and be encouraged to ask questions. So make the pitch for half the time. But then again, if you have a complex idea to share, it may require most of the time. I’d suggest that, whatever you do, make sure you stop at 15. It’s the 16th minute that will cause you to be disqualified if all other teams stick to the basic rules. That’s when you know you have failed. Next time, fail better!