On Coaching Speakers.
Some of the groups of speakers I coached in 2013.
This month I’ve been asked twice to orient / train / tell / brief people on how to coach speakers inside their companies. I’ve struggled with responding as I never like to say no, but in this case, it’s the only answer. I came to appreciate that I haven’t clearly articulated (pun intended) why I coach, how I coach and why I’m not ready to train others to do so – yet.
So let’s start here: I LOVE to coach speakers. It is my happy place, sweet spot and I’m in a professional nirvana when I get to do it. I was a speech communication major in college, I was a speechwriter for five or so years out of college, and my favorite moments since then have been when I’ve helped my associates and clients find their voice and tell their story. I also watch graduation speeches for fun demonstrating that I’m a true geek about it all.
That’s why I love to coach speakers. It’s who I am.
When I started to think about how WOULD I tell a client how to coach their own speakers, I started getting a pit in my stomach, clammy hands and a lump in my throat. Was it because I didn’t want to give up trade secrets? Or that I don’t want to give up the special relationship I get to have with every speaker – listening to vulnerabilities, coaching to strengths, celebrating the standing ovation. Maybe.
But as a professional communication trainer as well, I truly appreciate the diligence and discipline in developing the right curriculum for training someone to learn a new craft, like being a coach to speakers. Giving someone some basic feedback on how they delivered a talk that someone else wrote is one thing (i.e. look at the audience, talk slower, don’t pace). But taking that same person on a journey from not knowing what they are going to talk about, to developing a talk, supporting stories, working through the messes of revisions, getting them to practice and rehearse and at the end of it all – not letting them have a single note and no podium – is a different training. One I’ve not yet built out.
When I coach it is at the intersection of teaching, hand-holding, counseling, editing, criticizing, cheerleading, time-keeping, task-mastering, emotional modulating (my own!), re-directing and hours of pure authentic listening.
And I am working at a different intersection of their work demands, travel schedules, family commitments, confidence, content, delivery, expectations (their own and others), history of speaking, event theme, and well, idiosyncrasies.
Maybe it isn’t rocket science, but every time I have a new speaker, I’m challenged to pull the right tools together from that tool kit I’ve assembled and hope and pray they are the right ones for that speaker, for that event, for that audience, for that topic, for that level of confidence and most importantly, for that reputation on the line.
And I believe that my five years of working one-on-one with over 200 speakers has taught me that I’ve only just begun to understand what it takes to be a great coach. Let alone one that can turn over all of that experience and knowledge and in an hour or event afternoon, to teach someone else how to do it. In time, I’ll decide if I can translate the learning to a train-the-coach world-class training. In the meantime, the answer is sadly no.
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Lessons from the Front Row: What not to do in your TEDx talk
photo credit: TEDxColumbus 2013 and Time Tank Labs
It was five years ago this last winter that I applied for one of the first TEDx licenses. And apparently, I’m one of the few crazy enough get a 6th consecutive one. Our event has grown both in size and maturity, and it’s become a well anticipated event in Columbus each fall.
As we began choosing our speakers this year, someone asked me recently what were the moments when speakers really bombed? I can’t say that anyone really has – but I got to thinking: What were the behaviors that caused a speaker to “disconnect” with the audience?
So here they are: Lessons I learned from the front row (Where I sit every year). Several of the winning points are from my close speaker coaching relationships for some of our sister TEDx events.
1. Tell the audience you are funny. One speaker presented an idea he thought was hilarious but half the audience thought it offensive, rude and reprehensible. The other half did laugh. Had he let the audience conclude it was funny, it may have been more funny. But the tweets were brutal. He decided not to put the talk online.
2. Insert some content that isn’t yours. I had a speaker sign his release at the event and he put an asterisk on it “You may release my video but not the video within it.” Turns out that forbidden video demonstrated the essence, the mojo and the rip-your-heart-out story of why his idea was a rock star. Turns out that video wasn’t his property but someone else’s. While it used to be his, he had moved on but didn’t have rights to it. His talk, despite huge audience approval, also never got posted.
3. Be the smartest person in the room – among a lot of other freaking smart people. One speaker was invite to give a second TEDx talk. His first one was abysmal because he was the smartest guy in the room with 12 really big complicated ideas. My assignment from my colleague (another TEDx organizer) was to help him improve. After I realized he was the smartest guy in the room and didn’t need my help (he refused to engage in any coaching), we let him do what he wanted. So he gave his second talk all on his own. And…he had the same results. Boring stares, no shares. This old dog was not learning any new tricks.
4. Assume we know why YOU care. I asked a very talented speaker to simply give us a line about what gave him license to speak about his topic, which was fairly compelling and exceptionally well stated. His response “Haven’t you read my resume? Don’t you know who I am?” I re-stated it and gingerly asked, “Why do you care about this topic? What moment did you know this would be your life’s work?”…Because I am listening to you deliver a lot of interesting information but will walk away like I do at most restaurants. “Boy the food was good. But who knows what my waiter’s name was.”
5. Refuse to be vulnerable. One speaker was quick to point out all the mistakes in the world that everyone else had made in his draft talk, but protected sharing any mistakes he had made himself. I pointed this out to him and suggested he share a time when he failed and how he learned from it. He refused the advice and as a result, came across as arrogant, showy and preachy. The twitter sphere assured that few would click on his link when the talk was published later.
The TED Commandments and speaker coaching guidance includes the comprehensive list of what to aim for as a speaker. But I submit to you these five, of all the mistakes speakers make, will most quickly disconnect you with your audience, and subsequently, to a wildly successful talk.
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The alternative to a disconnected, canned, paid Keynote speaker
I just returned from Dallas and an annual conference for the 250 HR professionals within the Alliance Data family which includes Alliance Retail, Epsilon and Loyalty One Companies. I was invited to curate, coach and host a session called “Perspectives” involving 8 speakers (all associates within the enterprise) for the last day of the conference. Perspectives was inspired by TED platform of highly provocative, concise idea sharing and storytelling. The session was the highest rated by the participants last year that the organizers had no choice but to bring it back. Based on the feedback I got this from year’s session, the response seems to be the same – outstanding.
But why?
Simple. The real, resonating stories from associates who had passion, courage and the willingness to get a big message condensed into 10 minutes connected with every one of the 250 associates in one way or another. They were inspired, educated, energized and proud. Of the eight speakers, four of them addressed workplace issues such as success in a new campus recruiting program, an explanation of talent management, a plea for more mentors and how you CAN change careers. The other four but brought their personal experiences to the talks while weaving in how they impacted workplace performance and connection. They included overcoming deep seeded fear, fighting cancer, overcoming a chronic health issue and being inspired by a child to never give up. Everyone talked about how it offered a needed balance against the other content sessions on executive compensation, HR software updates, reorganization plans, recruitment trends.
The takeaway: A conference with pretty dry, strategic but important information to transmit desperately needs a human element. And while humans may present dry, strategic information in dynamic ways – those sessions don’t always bring a distinct point of view, passion or compelling, resonating stories. They could have spent these two hours on a closing motivational keynote speaker for-hire, but I don’t think any hired keynote would have gotten 10 standing ovations, which is what happened at this session.
I personally was honored to work so closely with the eight speakers and continued to apply and refine The Talk of Your Life methodology toward helping speakers craft, refine and deliver compelling talks without notes or a podium. The speakers themselves offered these comments to me after the conference, validating that this experience is as powerful for them as it is the audience:
Ruth, Thanks again for all your help in making the conference a huge success! The buildup from our people around the talks is just something I have not experienced. You’ve clearly help take our conference to a new level and I’m appreciative of your efforts to get us there. It was a great experience! – CH
Ruth, I can’t begin to THANK YOU for the opportunity to have worked with you! I’m sure you get this all the time but you are truly… truly AMAZING. The feedback I’m receiving really make me feel great and that I actually did this but only with your guidance! You are the best at what you do and I’m so blessed to have worked with you over the last month. – MS
Ruth, Thank you for your guidance and support preparing for my Perspectives talk! There was something incredibly therapeutic, empowering and freeing about sharing my story. The blessings keep on coming. – NT
Ruth, Thanks so much for the experience. It was great to work with you – I really appreciated all of your guidance and support. – CB
Ruth, thanks so much for your guidance and support through our talks. Personally, I couldn’t have done it without you! – DL
Contact Ruth at ruth (at) articulationinc.com to brainstorm how you can improve the experience for your conference or meeting participants.
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